What’s Your Sweet Spot of Soul-Satisfying Success?

December 2nd, 2008

While we face uncertain times, are you also downsizing your dreams? You don’t have to. In fact, there’s no time like the present to experience the sweet spot of success.

 

America has managed its way through every economic peak and valley. As a country, we’ll weather this one, too. But, will you?

 

Many executives and professionals are feeling like they can’t pursue the path they’d laid out. Whether it’s early retirement, family vacations or launching a treasured pet project, many feel that if they don’t hold their cards close to the vest they’ll lose everything. That’s pretty sad because it doesn’t have to be that way.

 

You see, there’s one thing guaranteed to help you weather this (and any other) storm.

 

Living in the sweet spot. That’s the secret. During my many years as an executive coach, I can tell you that those who thrive in any economic circumstance are those who have learned that success and meaning are bigger than a dollar bill. They’ve come to not only understand what the sweet spot is, but they’ve found theirs…and they’re doing just fine right now.

 

The Sweet Spot is within your reach

What’s your definition of the sweet spot? More money? Increased time with family? The time to develop projects for which you have passion? To experience more meaning and purpose?

 

Let me know.

 

Don’t Let Your Work Life Balance Go Down the Financial Drain

December 1st, 2008

In the October 22, 2008 edition of the Wall Street Journal, Sue Shellenbarger writes:

“Among the hits to families’ budgets lately, many people are taking an added blow: control over their time.

The economic downturn is forcing many to defer dreams of striking a better work-life balance. As past recessions have shown, downturns tend to quash luxuries such as choosing to cut back to part time, dropping out for a while to stay home with the kids, or taking a sabbatical.”

Have you been telling yourself that in these hard economic times you can’t afford NOT to work that 60 hour work week? Are you worried about what your employees will say or your boss will think if you go home before the midnight cleaning crew?  Don’t let your work life balance go down the financial drain.  Get creative.

Here’s a great time stretching and de-stressing tip from a couple of rocket scientists I work with at Ames Research Center in Palo Alto, California.  These two fellows had promised their wives they would do their best to cut back on their 60+ hour work weeks.  Like true scientists, they hit upon a previously unseen solution.  Instead of commuting to work individually, they now car pool.  Each morning they do their daily 30 minute tag up meeting while driving.  Each afternoon, instead of meeting in the office for their usual end of the day hour-long debrief, they head home with the car serving as the end of the day office.  This small change cut their 60 hour work week to 52.5 hours.  An added bonus:  they use the buddy system to hold each other accountable.  They are happy and their wives are even happier.  Good job, guys!

The Gritty Reality

September 7th, 2007

We hit a bump and the rental car flew through the air and landed with a stomach flipping bounce on the empty highway.  A lightning bolt of adrenaline shot through my haze of exhaustion.

What time was it!? 12:45 am.  Fifteen minutes were all we had left.  Would we make it in time?

The speedometer needle quivered between 95 and 100 mph as we hurtled down a desolute interstate in the heavy darkness of a north Texas night. Clutching the box in a death grip, I shuddered to imagine the consequences if we arrived too late.  

“God, don’t do that to us.” I quietly prayed.

The rental car screeched to a halt in the abandoned parking lot.  12:58 am.  2 minutes to spare.  I grabbed the box and ran inside desperately hoping we were not too late. 

“Is it too late?” 

“Nope.  You just barely made it.  The last flight of the night leaves in 2 minutes.  Miss this one and you’re out of luck until 7:00 am.”

Handing over the package like a sweaty baton in a marathon relay race, I took a deep breath.  The satisfaction of success morphed into exhausted exhiliration.  Yes!  We had done it!  Now, the rest was up to FedEx.  

Our bid for the big job would absolutely, positively be in Boston before the RFP deadline.  The corporate warrior within me celebrated the victory even as my weary body screamed for sleep. 

Yep, this is a true story.  I can still remember fighting back the urge to vomit as we recklessly raced to the airport in the wee hours of the morning.  

I would like to tell you this was a rare occurence.  It wasn’t.  It was my life.  A self-inflicted, viscious cycle of extreme expectations, exhilirating success and soul-shredding exhaustion. 

My story is being replayed all over the world by super successful professionals just like you.

Are you living the gritty reality of high expectations, unrelenting exhaustion and the intoxicating exhiliration of success because you don’t know there is a better way?

Take a look at a few statistics from recent study conducted by the Center for Work-Life Policy and reported in the article, Extreme Jobs: The Dangerous Allure of the 70-Hour Workweek in the December 2006 issue of the Harvard Business Review.  The study targeted the top 6% of earners in the U.S.

  • 66% say they love their job.

  • 64% admit the pressure and pace are self-inflicted – a function of a Type A personality.

  • They love the intellectual challenge and the thrill of achieving something big.

  • 66% say they don’t get enough sleep.

  • 69% believe they would be healthier if they worked less extremely.

  • 65% say their work interferes with ability to to have strong relationships with their children.

  • 46% think their work gets in the way of good relationships with their spouses.

  • 50% say their jobs make it impossible to have a satisfying sex life.

Are you twisting in this perfect storm?  Are there some pretty big costs lurking in the shadows of your success?

Do you love your job?  Do you love your family?  Do you want better health? Does it seem impossible to ‘have it all’? 

Yeah, I know.  I thought it was, too.  The idea of work-life balance seemed to be some fluffy talk show mumbo jumbo.  Geez!  I was a corporate executive.  What could they possibly know about the demands of my life?!

Take it from me – a member of your tribe - it is possible to do what you love, enjoy a great relationship with your family and have time to take good care of yourself.  I know because I’ve done it.  And I want to help you do it, too.

You don’t have to sacrifice success to find personal fulfillment.  Life is too dang short to put up with anything less than your absolute TOTAL best.

Where are you cutting corners in your life?  What wakes you up in the middle of the night?  What nagging thought refuses to leave you alone? 

Ready to create the complete life you dream about?  I want to help you do it.

Call me at 859-266-2436 or email me at kay@leadershipwhisperer.com.

 

Around The World in 3 Weeks

August 24th, 2007

Standing on the Great Wall in China

Many of you have asked about my 3 week trip around the world so I wanted to share a few highlights with you. In the photo above, I’m standing on the Great Wall in China – hot, drenched in sweat and very happy. It was a lifelong dream come true. But, before I made it to China I had to visit Europe.

As most of you know, I am the 2007 President of the International Coach Federation, the world’s largest nonprofit association for coaches. The ICF has about 12,000 members in 82 countries. In June I traveled to Europe and China representing the ICF at important coaching events.

I left my home in Lexington, KY on June 5th headed for the European Coaching Conference in Helsinki, Finland. The day before the conference started, Diane Brennan, ICF President-elect, and I met with the Nordic ICF Board of Directors.

Nordic ICF Board of Directors Helsinki, Finland June 2007

It was a very productive meeting!

I loved Finland. The Finnish people were very friendly and Helsinki was beautiful. I found the strong Russian influence in Finland to be very interesting. Here are some photos if you’re interested. Flowers at the Finnish Parliament Building; Old Market Hall in Helsinki, Finland; Upinski Orthodox Cathedral-Helsinki

Helsinki was abnormally warm while I was there with temps in the mid to upper 90’s. And, since the temps seldom get that hot, the hotel didn’t have air conditioning in the rooms. Made for toasty sleeping. The other memorable experience was the fact the sun did not set. At 1 am it would be dusk-like and then at 2 am it would look like it was 3 pm. My body had trouble adjusting to constant sunlight.

While in Helsinki I also had an opportunity to spend time with Sir John Whitmore, one of the world’s most respected coaches and a pioneer in the field. Sir John and I had a marvelous time together. We discovered that we are both rowdy mavericks who like to kick up dust and challenge people to see the world in new ways. We are looking forward to stirring up some excitement in the new future. Watch out, world!

Kay Cannon, Sir John Whitmore, Diane Brennan

I left Helsinki and headed to London where I spent 2 days meeting with the UK ICF chapter’s BOD. I was joined in England by Magda Mook, the ICF’s invaluable Assistant Executive Director. The UK ICF president, Neil Scotton, was kind of enough to pick Magda and me up at the airport and take us to his home for Sunday lunch with the family. It was lovely and fun to experience every day life for a typical UK family. Many thanks to Neil’s gracious wife, Sharon. He also took us on a ½ day walking tour of the sights of London capped off with a picnic in St. James Park with the UK ICF Board of Directors.

UK ICF Board of Directors St. James Park, London, England, 2007

Here are a few more photos: Magda Mook and Neil Scotton, London, England, June 2007; Kay Cannon and Magda Mook, London, England, June 2007;

I must admit I fell in love with London. Neil helped me learn how to ride the tube all over the city. What an amazing city. I can’t wait to go back when I have more time to explore and play!

While in London, I had the opportunity to help host the UK ICF’s forum, Excellence in Professional Coaching. Top leaders from more than 10 multi-national corporations, such as The BBC and IBM, participated in a thought-provoking discussion about coaching within the corporate sector. I also was interviewed by Stefan Stern, a journalist for the Financial Times of London. If you want to read the article, click on this link: BUSINESS LIFE: The rise of the listening guru.

And, on a more personal note, the car bomb found in London shortly after I returned to the States was located very close to the hotel where I stayed. Yikes!

From London Magda and I took a train to Oxford, England for the Oxford School of Mentoring and Coaching Conference. We had one afternoon to walk around and see the town. Here’s Magda on Rose Lane in Oxford. The gardener in me LOVED Oxford!

Magda Mook on Rose Lane, Oxford, England June 2007

What a beautiful and old place! While in Oxford I was able to spend some valuable time with friends Julie Hay and Lloyd Deaton of the European Mentoring & Coaching Council. Unfortunately, our meeting was so engrossing, I forgot to take photos. Sorry, Julie and Lloyd! Next time for sure.

In Oxford, I was also joined by Pam Richarde, Immediate Past President of the ICF. And, as fate would have it, Sir John Whitmore was also in Oxford. We continued to plot our next adventure. Here’s the proof: Pam Richarde, Sir John Whitmore, Kay Cannon at the OSCM Conference.

From Oxford I took a bus back to London and flew out of Heathrow to Shanghai via Munich. I had 2 free days before I had to be in Beijing for the International Coaching & Corporate Social Responsibility Conference and The 4th Professional Coach Awards hosted by the China Coach Association. Fortunately, Eva Wong, a fellow ICF Board member and the founder of TopHuman who lives in Hong Kong and does business in China, generously gave me her private driver and arranged for her personal assistant, Joanna, to show me around Shanghai and Hangzhou. Thank God. I would have been lost without them! They took me to see the very hip Shanghai harbor district, an ancient Chinese village with waterways for streets like in Venice and then to the magical city of Hangzhou. The Ancient City outside of Shanghai; Joanna and my driver in Shanghai; Shanghai

InHangzhou the highlight of my visit was Lingyin, the Buddhist Kingdom of the Southeast. The first temple in the Lingyin scenic area was built in 326 AD. In addition to the many temples in the Lingyin area, there are 345 well-preserved stone carvings located in caves and on limestone walls. These carvings date back from The Five Dynasties to the Yuan Dynasty. Absolutely amazing! Take a look if you’re interested: West Lake at Hangzhou; Standing with a stone carving at Lingyin; Temple Roof at Lingyin; Ancient Stone Carvings at Lingyin;

From Hangzhou, I flew to Beijing for the 2 day cultural tour sponsored by TopHuman followed by the China Coach Association Conference. The tour was fabulous. There were more than 20 coaches from all over the world on the Cultural Tour with me. We saw the Forbidden City, the Summer Palace, the Great Wall and many other special sites. Check out the Architecture in the Forbidden City

In this photo, executive coach, Dr. Mercedes Jahn of Mexico City, and I have climbed onto a high group of rocks behind the roof of the Summer Palace. Coaches are very daring people!

Kay Cannon and Dr. Mercedes Jahn of Mexico City at the Summer Palace

For me, climbing the Great Wall was a lifelong dream come true. The day we climbed the Great Wall, the temperature was about 94 degrees with very high humidity. I’m sure the heat index was well over 100 degrees Farhenheit The climb was straight up steep stairs. It was exhilarating and very, very, very hot.

The photo below was taken as Tun, a wonderful photographer and coach from Malaysia, and I were beginning our trek.

Climbing the Great Wall with Tun, a great photographer and coach from Malaysia

In this photo taken by Tun, I’m peaking out from a hole in the wall.

Peaking through the Great Wall

Earlier in 2007 I sent an email to my dear friend, Beth Hand, an executive coach from Washington, D.C. I asked her if she wanted to climb the Great Wall with me. I believe in asking the big questions because you never know what might happen. A few months later here we are on the Great Wall. WooHoo!

At the Great Wall with my dear friend, executive coach Beth Hand from Washington, DC

The photo below shows just how arduous this climb was. I think I was on the verge of heat exhaustion.

The Great Wall

After the Cultural Tour, it was time for the China Coaches’ Conference and the 4th Professional Coach Awards. These events occurred over a 2 day period. Karen Tweedie, Treasurer of the ICF, flew to Beijing from her home in Melbourne, Australia, to join me at the China Coaches Conference.

The night before the conference we were treated to a marvelous dinner by Eva Wong and her husband, Lawrence Leung. (Throughout my entire trip to China, Eva’s generosity was amazing. I am lucky to have such a good friend.) We ate in a restaurant that had been the home of one of China’s most famous opera stars of the past. Here is a photo we took before dinner. From left: Lawrence, Eva, me, Karen, Mary Jor and Joanna.

With Eva, Lawrence, Karen, Mary and Joanna at dinner in Beijing

While participating in the conference, I met with the President and Vice President of the Korea Coach Association.

President and Vice President of the Korea Coach Association with Kay Cannon

A press conference was also held and I was interviewed by about 8 or 9 journalists from Beijing. Since I don’t speak Chinese and several journalists didn’t speak English, we had to use a translator. I found the Chinese journalists to be very interested in corporations that use coaching to boost productivity and employee retention.

During the 4th Professional Coach Awards I gave a speech and helped present the awards.

Speech honoring Eva Wong and TopHuman for Corporate Social Responsibility

Giving Awards at the 4th Professional Coach Award Ceremony Beijing 2007

It was a wonderful and festive evening much like the Academy Awards of Coaching!

I left Beijing for the States on Sunday, June 24th and arrived in Lexington, KY in the late evening on Monday, June 25th. To say I was exhausted is an understatement. It took about 4 days before my body adjusted to the 12 time zone change! Two days after I got home I had to leave to conduct an ICF Board meeting. Here I am in my jet lagged daze.

Exhausted at the Cincinnati ICF Board Meeting on June 28

My 3 week trip around the world was an amazing experience filled with extraordinary people and experiences. I feel very blessed to have such wonderful friends all over the world. I only wish it could be possible to mention everyone I met. I am very grateful for this opportunity to travel around the world meeting my coaching colleagues and helping to educate the world on the power of coaching.

I am also deeply appreciative of my clients’ and colleagues’ patience and support while I was out of the office for the entire month of June. Thank you!

My next trip as ICF President will be to Melbourne, Australia September 29 – October 6, 2007. I’ll be attending the ICF Australasia Conference. Can’t wait to visit my friends Down Under!

The Story Behind the Stress Lines

January 24th, 2007

Feeling stressed out these days?  Relax.  It’s not just your imagination.

According to the Pew Research Center, driving to work is becoming more and more unpleasant.  Traffic delays are 300% longer than they were twenty years ago. The average urban commuter wastes 47 hours of her life per year sitting in rush hour traffic.  That number jumps to 100 hours if you live in Los Angeles.  Factor in rude drivers, dropped cell phone calls, and swimming pool potholes, and those 47 hours start to feel like 147 hours.

But wait.  There’s more.  When you finally get to work, things aren’t much better. 

Distractions like email, phone calls, and unscheduled office visitors cost you an average of 2.1 lost hours a day (Basex).  That adds up to about 65 lost workdays a year per person or 13 work weeks a year.  Raise your hand if you would like to trade in those lost workdays for 3 months of additional vacation time.  Can you say white sand beaches and tropical cocktails? 

What were we talking about?  Sorry, I got distracted. That’s right!  Distractions.

With all of these distractions eating up our time, it is no wonder multi-tasking has become the Badge of Honor for workplace warriors.  It’s gotten ridiculous.  Not too long ago I found myself in the ladies’ restroom at the Denver airport.  In the stall next to me, a woman was conducting a business meeting on her cell phone while she heeded the call of Mother Nature.  I was appalled, disgusted, and flabbergasted.

What is happening to us?  Have we lost our multi-tasking minds?  Unfortunately, it appears we may be headed in that direction.

Research studies show multi-tasking actually decreases your productivity.  Scientists are saying multi-tasking increases mistakes, forgetfulness, depression and stress. According to Dr. Jordan Grafman, a neuropsychologist and Chief of the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke at the National Institutes of Health, multi-tasking creates prolonged stress that can kill your brain cells responsible for forming new memories and learning and retaining new facts and skills. (1)   In fact, prolonged stress can shrink your brain!  As your stress increases, imagine your brain slowly deflating like a leaky beach ball.  Now that is something to get stressed out about!

Stop the Stress.  Save Your Brain.

When was the last time you had a stress-free play day?

__________________________

(1) We’re all multi-tasking, but what’s the cost? M. Healy, Los Angeles Times. July 19, 2004