Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category

Buried Alive

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

When we keep doing the same things over and over again  – or thinking the same things over and over again – we dig ourselves into a Type A rut.  What’s really tragic is that we rarely notice the walls closing in on us.  We are so busy, so stressed and so driven to accomplish the big goals that we can’t see what we are doing to ourselves.  That’s how Type A superstars get buried alive.

As the novelist Ellen Glasgow observed, “The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.”

What are you digging for yourself?

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Exploiting The Theory of Complaints

Friday, May 8th, 2009

What are you complaining about?

Maybe it was your rant yesterday during the Board meeting or the mumbling and muttering you did on the way into work this morning…. but I KNOW you are complaining about something… even if it’s only in the privacy of your mind.

What is it?

Not enough time to get everything done?   Your wife’s nagging?  Unrealistic shareholder expectations?  Your teenage daughter’s weird friends?  The nose dive your stock portfolio took over the past several months?  The irritating co-worker that takes credit for your ideas?

What are you complaining about?

Complaining is common.  You probably think you know all about complaining.

But did you know that complaining is the missing link between success and satisfaction?  Success doesn’t buy satisfaction.  It’s one thing to be successful and another thing entirely to be SATISFIED.

Yep, that’s right.  Your complaints hold the secret to turning success into satisfaction.  The MBA in me likes to call it Exploiting the Theory of Complaints.

To understand my Theory of Complaints, let’s take a quick look at well known biz school favorite, The Theory of Constraints.

The Theory of Constraints suggests that what stands between you and achieving your goals are the bottlenecks – or constraints – in your process.   Simply put, by identifying these bottlenecks and permanently removing them, you achieve greater success more quickly.  If you want to learn more about it, google business guru Dr. Eliyahu M. Goldratt.  There are oodles of info on this management philosophy.

Back to Cannon’s Theory of Complaints…

My Theory of Complaints says that what stands between success and satisfaction are complaints.  Stands to reason, doesn’t it?  Regardless of your success, it’s pretty darn near impossible to be truly satisfied if you are complaining.

Consider this.  Complaining is a signal that something is not right.  A complaint arises because some need is not being met.  You’ve got an itch that is not being scratched.

No matter how successful you are, you are not going to be truly satisfied if you, your life  or your business are being held hostage by an unmet need(s).

The unmet need creates tension in your experience which, in turn, leads you to vent, kvetch or bellyache to relieve the tension.  Unfortunately, the relief is temporary at best unless you identify the underlying unmet need and take action to fill it permanently.  Think about it like having a cavity in your tooth.  Until you fill it permanently, the little monster is going to keep bothering you and getting bigger… even if the rest of the world only sees your sparkling pearly whites.

And, just like pesky cavities, unmet needs can be hard to see unless you have x-ray vision, one of those odd little dental mirrors or the keen vision of someone else.  The quickest way to find the unmet need and create a strategy to fix it, is to enlist the help of a trusted advisor, mentor or coach.

Bottom line:  Remove your constraints to be successful and resolve your complaints to be satisfied.

There’s no sweeter spot than being successful AND being truly satisfied.

Posted in Decision-Making, Happiness, Meaningful Work, Positive Attitude, Positive Living, Work Life, career, leadership | No Comments »

What’s really capturing your attention?

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

Did you see the article in the New York Times,  Ear Plugs to Lasers:  The Science of Concentration?  In the book, Rapt, author Winifred Gallagher, reminds us of two well known concepts:

  1. What we pay attention to determines what kind of experience we create.
  2. Our brains work best when we concentrate and focus on one thing at time… multi-tasking is not good for us.

Gallagher goes on to make the point that we have the choice to focus our attention on the negative things or the positive things.  Not surprisingly, she points out that shifting your attention to and focusing on the positive things in life are the secrets to creating a more satisfying life.

I’m not going to disagree with that, but I do think it’s a black or white approach… especially for high level leaders who get paid to solve problems and achieve results in a technicolor world.

Here’s two more things to think about.

First, events are rarely all positive or all negative.  They are usually a bitter sweet mixture of both.  Wisdom comes from being able to see and appreciate both the good and the bad.  Remember the old saw… Learning from your mistakes?

Secondly, your unconscious mindsets have an enormous impact on how you see the world and what captures your attention.  Shifting your conscious attention without first uncovering your underlying unconscious mindsets is a little like whacking off dandelion leaves.  It’s just a matter of time before your unconscious mindset sends up another flower of frustration.  Just look at Kristie Alley’s failed weight loss…

Here’s my advice:

1.  Focus your attention on the whole experience.   Step outside of your judgment of good or bad.  Look at things from both sides at once.  Find the wisdom in the experience.  The great thing about wisdom is that you can take it with you whereever you go.

2. Cultivate your consciousness.  Dig out your unconscious mindsets so you get rid of the weeds once and for all.  That leaves plenty of room and nutrients for creativity.  And with creativity comes inspired problem solving and new perspectives.

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You can’t escape who you are.

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

It happened again this week.  I was talking with a fellow I had just met when he suddenly observed, “You’re like a lightning bolt!”.

Yes, that me.  A lightning bolt.   I can’t help myself.  It’s in my DNA.

In my first ‘real’ job, I got sick of listening to my co-workers sit around and whine about how overworked and underpaid we were, so I petitioned our employer – the city government – to raise our wages.

The suits on the city council were shocked and appalled that a 21-year old, fresh-out-of-college female would have such audacity to question the status quo.  They called my boss and demanded to meet “the militant troublemaker”.  I found it all quite amusing.

A few months and one whopper of a pay raise later, a co-worker presented me with lightning bolt earrings and a lightning bolt t-shirt.   Giggling, she said, “Cannon, those guys never knew what hit them!”

Four years later, emboldened by success, I zapped, scorched and incinerated my way to record setting profits in my first big leadership role.  Determined to succeed regardless of the cost, I left a trail of charred and smoldering souls in my wake.  Intoxicated with my own power, I had morphed into a lightning bolt bully.

Then one day I went up in my own flames.  My mother’s childhood admonishments echoed through my head, “You shouldn’t play with fire!  Someone’s going to get hurt.”

It was only then that I realized the full responsibility of being a lightning bolt.

Over time I mastered the fine art of tossing lightning bolts to illuminate instead of decimate and to catalyze instead of paralyze.  In the darkest and most menacing of storms,  a friendly lightning bolt is a flashlight for the soul.  It shows you where it’s safe to step and helps you see your way to the desired destination.

With some work, I transformed myself from a lightning bolt bully to a lightning bolt leader.

It’s true.  You can’t escape who you are… but you can master the fine art of who you are.

Thirty years later, I still can’t stand whiners…  I still have the audacity to question the status quo and… I still occasionally get called a ‘militant troublemaker’ because I refuse to play the ‘good enough game’.   And I’m still a lightning bolt…  in a more artful and masterful way.

Have you mastered the fine art of who you are?

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7 Commandments for a Happy 2009

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

Bailouts.  Bankruptcies.  Lay-offs.  Financial scandals.  Wars raging.  Who in the world could stir up positive attitude in all of this mess?

I recently appeared on the radio show, Skin Health Today, with the amazing, Celeste Hilling, CEO of SkinAuthority.  The topic was New Year, New You, New Attitude.  Want to listen?  Click here.

With the media bombarding us with doom and gloom, it’s easy to understand why so many of us feel the need for an attitude lift.  We want to be happier.  We need to be happier.

Okay, be honest.  Have you ever told yourself, “If I just had more money… or a better job… or a hotter love life… or a thinner body, then I would be happy.”  Guess what?  You are looking in the wrong places for happiness.  Happiness comes from within you.   Want more happiness?  Get your own copy of The 7 Commandments for a Happy 2009.  There’s no charge.

Happiness is a state of mind… it’s a choice you make regardless of how much money you have or how good your job is.  And, best of all, it’s free!  Now that’s something to be happy about in 2009.

P.S.  Many of my clients, colleagues and friends have asked me how I managed to keep such a positive attitude over the past 3 years as my mother was dying, my life partner was fighting for her life and I was serving as the President of the International Coach Federation.  My secret?  The 7 Commandments.    As Paul Harvey says, “Now you know the rest of the story.”

Posted in Happiness, Positive Attitude, Positive Living | No Comments »