What are you complaining about?

Maybe it was your rant yesterday during the Board meeting or the mumbling and muttering you did on the way into work this morning…. but I KNOW you are complaining about something… even if it’s only in the privacy of your mind.

What is it?

Not enough time to get everything done?   Your wife’s nagging?  Unrealistic shareholder expectations?  Your teenage daughter’s weird friends?  The nose dive your stock portfolio took over the past several months?  The irritating co-worker that takes credit for your ideas?

What are you complaining about?

Complaining is common.  You probably think you know all about complaining.

But did you know that complaining is the missing link between success and satisfaction?  Success doesn’t buy satisfaction.  It’s one thing to be successful and another thing entirely to be SATISFIED.

Yep, that’s right.  Your complaints hold the secret to turning success into satisfaction.  The MBA in me likes to call it Exploiting the Theory of Complaints.

To understand my Theory of Complaints, let’s take a quick look at well known biz school favorite, The Theory of Constraints.

The Theory of Constraints suggests that what stands between you and achieving your goals are the bottlenecks - or constraints - in your process.   Simply put, by identifying these bottlenecks and permanently removing them, you achieve greater success more quickly.  If you want to learn more about it, google business guru Dr. Eliyahu M. Goldratt.  There are oodles of info on this management philosophy.

Back to Cannon’s Theory of Complaints…

My Theory of Complaints says that what stands between success and satisfaction are complaints.  Stands to reason, doesn’t it?  Regardless of your success, it’s pretty darn near impossible to be truly satisfied if you are complaining.

Consider this.  Complaining is a signal that something is not right.  A complaint arises because some need is not being met.  You’ve got an itch that is not being scratched.

No matter how successful you are, you are not going to be truly satisfied if you, your life  or your business are being held hostage by an unmet need(s).

The unmet need creates tension in your experience which, in turn, leads you to vent, kvetch or bellyache to relieve the tension.  Unfortunately, the relief is temporary at best unless you identify the underlying unmet need and take action to fill it permanently.  Think about it like having a cavity in your tooth.  Until you fill it permanently, the little monster is going to keep bothering you and getting bigger… even if the rest of the world only sees your sparkling pearly whites.

And, just like pesky cavities, unmet needs can be hard to see unless you have x-ray vision, one of those odd little dental mirrors or the keen vision of someone else.  The quickest way to find the unmet need and create a strategy to fix it, is to enlist the help of a trusted advisor, mentor or coach.

Bottom line:  Remove your constraints to be successful and resolve your complaints to be satisfied.

There’s no sweeter spot than being successful AND being truly satisfied.

Did you see the article in the New York Times,  Ear Plugs to Lasers:  The Science of Concentration?  In the book, Rapt, author Winifred Gallagher, reminds us of two well known concepts:

1. What we pay attention to determines what kind of experience we create.
2. Our brains work best when we concentrate and focus on one thing at time… multi-tasking is not good for us.

Gallagher goes on to make the point that we have the choice to focus our attention on the negative things or the positive things.  Not surprisingly, she points out that shifting your attention to and focusing on the positive things in life are the secrets to creating a more satisfying life.

I’m not going to disagree with that, but I do think it’s a black or white approach… especially for high level leaders who get paid to solve problems and achieve results in a technicolor world.

Here’s two more things to think about.

First, events are rarely all positive or all negative.  They are usually a bitter sweet mixture of both.  Wisdom comes from being able to see and appreciate both the good and the bad.  Remember the old saw… Learning from your mistakes?

Secondly, your unconscious mindsets have an enormous impact on how you see the world and what captures your attention.  Shifting your conscious attention without first uncovering your underlying unconscious mindsets is a little like whacking off dandelion leaves.  It’s just a matter of time before your unconscious mindset sends up another flower of frustration.  Just look at Kristie Alley’s failed weight loss…

Here’s my advice:

1.  Focus your attention on the whole experience.   Step outside of your judgment of good or bad.  Look at things from both sides at once.  Find the wisdom in the experience.  The great thing about wisdom is that you can take it with you whereever you go.

2. Cultivate your consciousness.  Dig out your unconscious mindsets so you get rid of the weeds once and for all.  That leaves plenty of room and nutrients for creativity.  And with creativity comes inspired problem solving and new perspectives.

I get the question all the time… “How can I deal with an employee who is a real pain in the a—-?  She’s driving me crazy!”

When I ask why the employee hasn’t been given her walking papers, the boss usually spits out, “Because she’s one of our best producers.  She’s too valuable to fire but she makes my life hell and stirs up everybody else!”

I love these kinds of employees and you should, too.  Here’s why.

They’ve still got a fire burning in their gut.  It’s just a misdirected fire.   As a leader it’s a lot easier to re-direct a fire than it is to rekindle cold embers.

I’d much rather have a passionate, pain-in-the-butt employee than one who is a business-as-usual employee or - even worse - an employee that has quit but still comes to work collecting a paycheck.

Re-direct the passion and you’re going to transform the pain-in-the-butt into an outstanding contributor.   I’ve done it myself and I’ve seen it done by other leaders countless times.

But here’s the deal.  You can’t just keep doing your same old leadership tricks and hoping for a different outcome.  You’ve got to drop your attitude and dig beneath your own frustration to discover what is motivating the employee to be difficult.  You need to become Sherlock Holmes.

Here are some questions to help your investigation:

1.  Is the employee angry about some perceived injustice?  (Hint: Bosses tend to expect more out of high performers than they do other employees.)

2.  Is the employee bored?  (Hint: High performers often feed on change and challenge and love to collect the next trophy.)

3.  Is the employee wanting more power and influence in the workplace?  (Hint:  Money only goes so far in rewarding a high performer.  Respect, responsibility and authority - even if it’s coming from the gossip club - often fill the gap between money and meaning.)

4.  Is the employee frustrated about some aspect of their job?  (Hint:  High performers frequently don’t like rules that seem ridiculous or decisions that don’t contribute to results - like time wasting staff meetings or ill-informed strategies.)

5.  What have I done to contribute to this problem?  (Hint:  High performers want to be heard and valued by the folks in charge.  If they only get your attention by causing problems, then that’s what they are going to do.)

One last thing.  Ditch the hero routine.  Don’t try to save a bad apple.  It’ll ruin your whole team.

Let’s face it.  Occasionally even the best leaders hire a dud or inherit a crazy person.  I know because I’ve been in both situations.  If your pain-in-the-butt employee is acting unstable or is a real threat to other people or your business, consult with your HR department pronto to determine the safest and quickest way to deal with them.   Don’t tackle this challenge by yourself.

But… if you have a pain-in-the-butt, high performing employee, get busy!  You’ve got a diamond waiting to be polished.  Want to solve the high performance puzzle quicker?  Call me.  859-266-2436.

It happened again this week.  I was talking with a fellow I had just met when he suddenly observed, “You’re like a lightning bolt!”.

Yes, that me.  A lightning bolt.   I can’t help myself.  It’s in my DNA.

In my first ‘real’ job, I got sick of listening to my co-workers sit around and whine about how overworked and underpaid we were, so I petitioned our employer - the city government - to raise our wages.

The suits on the city council were shocked and appalled that a 21-year old, fresh-out-of-college female would have such audacity to question the status quo.  They called my boss and demanded to meet “the militant troublemaker”.  I found it all quite amusing.

A few months and one whopper of a pay raise later, a co-worker presented me with lightning bolt earrings and a lightning bolt t-shirt.   Giggling, she said, “Cannon, those guys never knew what hit them!”

Four years later, emboldened by success, I zapped, scorched and incinerated my way to record setting profits in my first big leadership role.  Determined to succeed regardless of the cost, I left a trail of charred and smoldering souls in my wake.  Intoxicated with my own power, I had morphed into a lightning bolt bully.

Then one day I went up in my own flames.  My mother’s childhood admonishments echoed through my head, “You shouldn’t play with fire!  Someone’s going to get hurt.”

It was only then that I realized the full responsibility of being a lightning bolt.

Over time I mastered the fine art of tossing lightning bolts to illuminate instead of decimate and to catalyze instead of paralyze.  In the darkest and most menacing of storms,  a friendly lightning bolt is a flashlight for the soul.  It shows you where it’s safe to step and helps you see your way to the desired destination.

With some work, I transformed myself from a lightning bolt bully to a lightning bolt leader.

It’s true.  You can’t escape who you are… but you can master the fine art of who you are.

Thirty years later, I still can’t stand whiners…  I still have the audacity to question the status quo and… I still occasionally get called a ‘militant troublemaker’ because I refuse to play the ‘good enough game’.   And I’m still a lightning bolt…  in a more artful and masterful way.

Have you mastered the fine art of who you are?

Last night the University of Kentucky women’s basketball team beat perennial powerhouse, Tennesse.  For Kentucky it was only the seventh win ever over the Lady Vols.

After the game, Pat Summitt, Tennessee’s coach and all-time winningest Division 1 basketball coach was quoted in the Lexington Herald-Leader.

“In 35 years coaching, this probably has been the least energy of any team I’ve coached,” Summitt said. “I’m not good at coaching effort. It was a total lack of passion. I don’t know that you can teach that to a player.”

Coach Summitt hit the nail on the head.  You can coach, teach, inspire, motivate, strategize, challenge and bend over backwards but it’s all wasted energy if your team - whether it’s in sports or business - doesn’t put forth effort… if they don’t have a fire burning in their belly.

Same holds true at work.  If you’ve got an employee that simply doesn’t seem to care about anything or doesn’t seem to want to put forth effort, why keep them?  Especially in today’s deep pool of top notch talent looking for a job.

There’s never been a better time to get rid of the deadwood.

I’ve been talking to pink slip professionals - talented, highly motivated people who are now searching for a job.  Sprinkled throughout our discussions on job search strategies and survival how-to’s, these exasperated and bored professionals frequently exclaim: “I would work for free just to get out of the house and feel like I’m contributing.” 

That got me to thinking about the enormous amount of unemployed intellectual capital gathering dust and the power of free samples. 

What if pink slip professionals adopted the pink spoon strategy made famous by Baskin-Robbins and gave away small, tasty samples of their expertise and talent to organizations and businesses who needed that particular expertise and talent? 

It’s no secret that many independent professionals give away small samples of their expertise as a key part of their marketing strategy (like complementary coaching sessions, free special reports or no cost teleconferences). Giving away a sample the pink slip professional gets a break from the monotony and frustration of job hunting, enjoys the satisfaction of engaging in tangible work, escapes from the house, demonstrates the value of their work to potential employers and expands their network to help in the search for a paycheck. On the other side, the receiving organization gets important work done and meets a new resource and potential employee.

It sounded pretty good to me…  Then I tossed the pink spoon idea out to a self-employed IT professional and he disagreed.

“Giving away services (even in a recession) is never a good idea.”

Hmmm…  What do you think? 

Is it a good idea or not a good idea to give away services?” 

Has anyone out there ever gotten a big gig or a plump paycheck after giving away a sample of your expertise?

Microsoft’s new ad campaign, People Ready, is now trumpeting what most of us have known for years - the old mantra…’It’s not personal, it’s just business’…. is a bunch of malarkey.  In what first appears to be an editorial filled with typical CEO mumbo jumbo, Microsoft uses a red highlighter to cut through the BS leaving just a few words that emphasize Microsoft’s new marketing message…’Because it’s everybody’s business’.

Interesting that this marketing campaign coincides with Microsoft’s announcement they are laying off 1400 people today and 5000 over the next 18 months.  Now that’s what I call personal.

Guess it’s only ‘everybody’s business’ at Microsoft when sales are strong.

I love to read AdAge.  For me, it’s like a match that ignites that “What if…” place in my brain.  For instance, in Lenore Skenazy’s January 12th article, Extinction, Innovation and the Sad Future of Iceberg Lettuce, futurist Richard Watson, author of Future Files: The Five Trends That Will Shape the Next 50 Years, discusses what’s new and what’s quickly becoming extinct - like paternity cases, careers and iceberg lettuce.

One emerging trend is the desire to drop out of the wired world.  Watson predicts that more and more people are going to seek out places where they can unplug, enjoy the quiet and rekindle personal relationships without technological props.  Skenazy writes, “Dropping out from the technological world may become the ultimate luxury.”  My friends at the International Spa Assocation are smiling.  Cell phone free properties and quiet rooms have long been a hallmark of the best destination spas.

Here’s my prediction…. It’s actually going to become cool to close your door, turn off your Blackberry, put your phone on voice mail and get some uninterrupted work done.  I can feel it.  Brain shrinking multi-tasking is going to fall from grace like the socially unacceptable iceberg lettuce.  And not a minute too soon…  Imagine what kind of real work we could done….

Just this week I’ve talked with three highly talented professionals that find themselves unexpectedly searching for a job due to the economic crunch.  For those companies that want to raise the talent level of their team, don’t be shy.  Now is an excellent time to do it.

Bailouts.  Bankruptcies.  Lay-offs.  Financial scandals.  Wars raging.  Who in the world could stir up positive attitude in all of this mess?

I recently appeared on the radio show, Skin Health Today, with the amazing, Celeste Hilling, CEO of SkinAuthority.  The topic was New Year, New You, New Attitude.  Want to listen?  Click here.

With the media bombarding us with doom and gloom, it’s easy to understand why so many of us feel the need for an attitude lift.  We want to be happier.  We need to be happier.

Okay, be honest.  Have you ever told yourself, “If I just had more money… or a better job… or a hotter love life… or a thinner body, then I would be happy.”  Guess what?  You are looking in the wrong places for happiness.  Happiness comes from within you.   Want more happiness?  Get your own copy of The 7 Commandments for a Happy 2009.  There’s no charge.

Happiness is a state of mind… it’s a choice you make regardless of how much money you have or how good your job is.  And, best of all, it’s free!  Now that’s something to be happy about in 2009.

P.S.  Many of my clients, colleagues and friends have asked me how I managed to keep such a positive attitude over the past 3 years as my mother was dying, my life partner was fighting for her life and I was serving as the President of the International Coach Federation.  My secret?  The 7 Commandments.    As Paul Harvey says, “Now you know the rest of the story.”